Terms of Surveillance

*Disclaimer: This is not in any way intended to be reflective of what I personally believe – this is just an interpretation of what the United States Terms of Service could look like.

UNITED STATES TERMS OF SERVICE

THIS SITE IS BEING MONITORED BY THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT

You are about to enter a website hosted in the United States of America.  You must be aware of the following to continue:

Any data that you post, upload, or download to this website, in any shape or form (text, pictures, pdf, all associated metadata, etc.) may be collected by the United States government.  The fact that you have visited this website, and your IP address, will also be collected.  The Government of the United States maintains that this data will only be used to track potential threats, internal or external, to our country.  This data is made accessible by the government purely for the safety of our nation.

Any incriminatory activity that you perform on this website may be used against you in the court of law.  You have no reasonable expectation of privacy – please be aware that with legitimate reason, your entire history with this website may become accessible in a court case.    Encrypted data may try to be cracked. 

It is your responsibility not to participate on websites that threaten or intend to harm the United States of America.  If you come across such a website, please report it at report@usgovernment (disclaimer: not a real email address), or call our tipline at 555-555-5555. 

Any incoming or outgoing data on this website may be monitored.  Emails, voice chat, and online phone calls may be monitored.   Again, it must be repeated that ANY INCRIMINATORY ACTIVITY OR ASSOCIATION WITH GROUPS THAT THREATEN AMERICA MAY BE USED AGAINST YOU IN THE COURT OF LAW.  VIOLATORS OF U.S. LAW WILL BE PROSECUTED THROUGH THE PROPER LEGAL CHANNELS.

If you would like to know more about these laws, please gain security clearance, because they are secret.  Please send all complains to complain@usgovernment. 

The US TOS was created to address concerns about privacy regarding the internet.  We intend to make everything about surveillance operations (except the laws behind them) transparent.  The United States Surveillance program is intended to track potential threats through the use of data analysis.  It is NOT intended to spy on the personal lives of individual, law-abiding citizens.  The decision of who is a good, law-abiding citizen is made by the government.  

The government intends to keep all Americans safe through this surveillance.  If a reasonable threat is detected, all data will be used to trace them, find them, and monitor their activities and patterns to determine how, when, where, and why they plan to attack us, and have the evidence to stop it.  Again, all law-abiding citizens that we determine are good are still safe, and even safer than they were before. We are doing everything we can to minimize attacks on our soil.  We need the people to help us to do this – by sacrificing your privacy, you are increasing your safety.

Thank you for reading the US Terms of Service.  We want all Americans to fully understand what we are attempting to do, and we thank you for bearing with us in this process.  Thank you for working with us in order to create a safer, more peaceful United States, so you can go through your day without having to look over your shoulder.  You must agree to these terms in order to enter the website.

We are required to inform you that information about whether you agree or disagree may also be collected.

AGREE – ENTER HERE

DISAGREE