Piracy and Privacy.

It is easier than ever to partake in online piracy, but at the same time riskier than ever. The source of the new risk may not come from where you suspect. More and more groups are tracking individual's behavior. Whether that's Google or Microsoft (Bing) recording all your search queries or the US Government watching everything they can, the number of databases containing incriminating evidence against pirates is increasing exponentially. Of course, these groups aren't gathering the information for the direct purpose of building a legal case against you, but the evidence is there just the same.

Right now, Google could probably prove I've illegally downloaded software and movies. I've used their search engine to find sites illegally hosting files. I've run pirated android apps on my phone, which could easily record and report that behavior. Microsoft probably watches half the stuff you do on your computer, and could easily check the hashes of video files against a database of top torrents. My ISP probably identified that I use p2p file transfer protocols, and is probably aware of exactly files I've torrented. I don't think it needs to be said that the NSA is aware if you've ever violated a copyright. This list could go on forever.

Now, none of those groups have any reason to act on that information. My relationship with each of those groups involve money leaving my pockets and entering theirs. But what if that changes? I wonder what it would take for a failing ISP to sell out its previous customers? How much would the MPAA pay per pirate?

The solution to these problems is twofold. Firstly, the statute of limitations on civil copyright infringement in the United States is three years. If you stop all your torrenting for the next three years, there will no longer be a gun to your head. You will still be identifiable as a pirate, but as long as you are three years piracy-sober, you should be fine.

But I don't want to stop. Piracy exists because it is cheaper (lol) and more convenient that legally acquiring software. What do we have to do to keep our piracy private? Some might say universal encryption, encrypting the entire internet, could disguise our pirate traffic sufficiently. That only prevents middle-man eavesdropping attacks though.

My answer is this. We build our own pirate network. We use non-internet-networked machines as endpoints, so even if the files are identified, nothing can be reported. Then, we train pigeons. We build a network of carrier-pigeons and use high density SD cards attached to these pigeons to transmit all our illegal data. How long would it take to torrent a blu-ray copy of The Avengers? Probably the same amount of time it would take for a carrier pigeon to fly across New York City. The technology for this already exists. There is a standard for IP over Avian Carriers ( see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IP_over_Avian_Carriers ). To quote, "During the last 20 years, the information density of storage media and thus the bandwidth of an Avian Carrier has increased 3 times faster than the bandwidth of the Internet."

How could the MPAA respond? Probably the same way any military organization has responded to the use of message carrying pigeons (pigeons have been used in warfare as recently as 1957). They would train pigeon-hunting hawks to intercept and kill carrier pigeons. Unfortunately for my new avian friends, this means they are losing their jobs to machines, just like the rest of us. Combat-trained robots, disguised as pigeons would be developed, increasing the reliability and resilience of the network (work has already begun, see http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2013/11/army-maveric-microdrone/ ). It's difficult for a hawk to claw a pigeon out of the sky when the pigeon is actually a robot armed with a taser-beak.

Mockup of robo-pigeon, discussed above.

The MPAA's logical response to this is robo-hawks. As the battle continues to escalate, bands of mercenary robo-geese will form,  patrolling the skies and enforcing justice as defined by the highest bidder.